Would Not Come

if i make a lot of tinsel then people will want to
if i am hardened no fear of further abandonment
if i am famous then maybe i´ll feel good in this skin
if i am cultured my words will somehow garner respect

i would throw a party still it would not come
i would bike run swim and still it would not come
i´d go travelling and still it would not come
i would starve myself and still it would not come

if i am masculine i will be taken more seriously
if i take a break it would make me irresponsible
if i´me elusive i will surely be sought after often
if i need asistance then i must be incapable

i´d be filthy rich and still
it would not come
i would seduce them and still
it would not come
i would drink vodka and still
it would not come
i´d have an orgasm still
it wouldn´t come

if i accumulate knowledge
i´ll be impenetrable
if i am aloof no one will know
when they strike a nerve
if i keep my mouth shut the boat
will not have to be rocked
if i am vulnerable i will be
trampled upon

i would go shopping and still
it would not come
i´d leave the country and still
it would not come
i would scream and rebel still
it would not come
i would stuff my face and still
it would not come

i´d be productive and still it would not come
i´d be celebrated still it would not come
i´d be the hero and still it would not come
i´d renunciate and still it would not come