Ruin It

I've waited a long time for this life
Just to ruin it, so please don't ruin this for me
Yes I understand this lie
Hell, I crossed those T's and scratched out all these eyes myself last night
When I promised not to fight

So this is what I'm looking like these days
I'm all grown up and so full of hate
But I don't want to let go of my rage
'Cause it's the salt that brings the taste...
So where am I if you decide that I'm not right?

'Cause I might break and I might bend
Your heartstrings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
On a good day
On my best day, if you stick around

Did I stay inside to sterilize this knife?
Am I being too careful? Does this seem right?
Did I open up the shades to expose the sun in rays?
To show what's burned there inside
Yeah take a close look, hold me right up to the light

I've waited for so long
I've waited for so long
Spread me out, rake me in
This coarse and rocky field will camouflage my skin