The Buffoon And The Valedictorian

Announcer:
And now the Buffoon's date at the drive-in..
With the School's Valedictorian.

Valedictorian:
I really appreciate you're asking me out.
Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement.

Buffoon:
This movie sucks shit!

Valedictorian:
Well, Ebert gave it thumbs up, but Siskel thought it was too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly.

Buffoon:
Cathleen turner has big fuckin' tits!

Valedictorian:
Yes, well, she recently had a child.
I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?

Buffoon:
I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth
and blew his fuckin' head off!

Valedictorian:
Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for
male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as
part of their maturing process.

Buffoon:
That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head!

Valedictorian:
Well, I guess she's starved for attention and
she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.

(Sounds of Buffoon eating popcorn)

Buffoon:
This popcorn's fuckin' terrible.
It tastes like someone jizzed all over it!

Valedictorian:
Well the thought of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.
Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome
by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank.

Buffoon:
I looked at my asshole in the mirror today,
It blew my fuckin' mind!"

Valedictorian:
It's ironic that parts of one's body can seem odd and unusual
because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

Buffoon:
My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!

Valedictorian:
It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more
overpowering than another's.
I wonder whether its a function of the food digested or
that person's internal metabolism.


Buffoon:
I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl!

(Sounds of Buffoon Getting out of the car)

Valedictorian:
While, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion,
I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a
future rondevous.

Buffoon:
I's like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!

Valedictorian:
Bye bye! have fun!